Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Not the Best Day

OK, so by now many of you have heard that we hit a little (read: HUGE) rough patch.  Today E was very, very sad pretty much all day.  The whole family was sleep deprived, food deprived, and generally quite sad.  E stopped eating, drinking, and didn't smile once.  We had to leave breakfast so I could walk her around the entire hotel as she yelled "mama."  Every window, every hallway, every door we had to check for mama.  I have never in my life experienced anything so pathetic.  It hurt P and me so badly because there was absolutely nothing we could do to make it better for her.  She did not want anything we could provide, she only wanted her mama.  I'm sharing this so that if you experience this, know that you are not alone.  Don't think that there is some magical formula and that things will get better each day.  In fact, for us, it got much, much worse.

It was excruciating for us to watch E suffer such anguish, but we stayed by her every minute of it and tried to comfort her.  The love we have for her is so incredibly deep that we would stand by her through anything.  We do believe in our hearts that it will get better, but it will take time.  I know that she has a tender soul already...when she caught me having some tears of my own, she picked up a towel from the bathroom floor and wiped my eyes.  I know it is only anxious attachment, but there is something kind and gentle inside of our daughter.

In an effort to lighted up this post, I'll throw in a picture for all of you E junkies.  Even on her worst day, she is so damn cute.

7 comments:

The Payne Family Blog said...

Hang in there friend! I just sent you an email! You are doing everything right. It DOES get better!

Around the World to Harper said...

My heart goes out to you. You're doing all of the right things...Hang in there :)

Patiently waiting for Chayse said...

Hang in there, it will get better. (((hugs)))

I don't know if you have considered meeting with her Foster family. It was the best decision we ever made during our trip, it was closer for both sides. My daughter's foster Mama was able to explain to her that we were her new Mama and Baba. She cried a bit but the next morning she was a totally different child. She started smiling and laughing, it was like she understood and accepted what her foster Mama had said. I know it is a tough decision but either way you will do what is right for your family. (((hugs))

Nathalie

Pattie and Joe said...

WE can't add much more other then the old sayings "and this too shall pass," and "time heals all wounds." You already are showing how much you love her by just being there for her and letting her deal with her separation issues.

dollsaga said...

its heartbroken the little princess is having tough time... it reminds me of the stories my grandmother told me: my Aunt (my mother's sister) breastfed me and raised me when I was a baby, then it was time for me to leave her, I cried for an entire week, it was day and night --Non-stop, and I would not stay in the house, I needed someone to walk me around the neighborhood. when things seemed to get a little bit better, my aunt came to visit, once I saw her, I started crying a river again, things went much worse from there. it lasted a couple of months...I was always crying for my aunt. my mom & grandma said they never knew a baby could have so much tears, it was like I was made of water... some little souls are more sensitive & fragile than others... so please hang in there, times are tough now, but will get better. Sending my support & postive energy your way!!!

Lily said...

T, based on my experiences it helps if you could ask the guide to explain to her what's going on during the day as many times as possible. Her little mind is struggling to figure out why her foster mama left her and that prevented her from embracing her new life. Calling or visiting her foster family could help too, however, it potentially could make things worse. My blessings and hugs go out to you! Hang in there!
Lily

The Jiu Jiu said...

I'm hurting right along with you... what you're going through is amazingly rough for all three of you. (Like I had to tell you that, right?) You're loving her as hard as you can, and that's exactly what will get you all through this to the real family-building. The fact that with all her anguish Emmilene reacted so kindly & caringly to your tears shows how tender & caring a little soul she is, and how little anger she harbors toward you for the situation. As was said in another post, "this too shall pass" -- just keep loving her the way you do, keep understanding her feelings the way you do, and you'll all get over this mountain to the valleys beyond.