Thursday, January 12, 2012

Guangxi Ethnic Minority Park

I've heard that adopting a child around E's age is pretty much the hardest age to adopt.  They are too young to understand what is happening, and too old to just "go with the flow."  Hear ye, hear ye:  I can assure you that this is true.

We almost canned our plans to visit the Guangxi Ethnic Minority Park but decided to push ahead.  We were going to have our guide take us, but we thought better of it considering the situation.  She agreed, so we hopped in a cab ourselves.  I am happy to say that it ended up being a wonderful outing.  E wasn't happy, but she wasn't sad, either.  She was unbelievably patient while we looked at the gorgeous handmade items from this region.  After shopping, we strolled around the park and E did one of her favorite activities, peeling clementines.

This is the peeling clementine face

She mostly just peeled them, but she ate a few, too.

Later, while P was exchanging money at the bank, I took out a yogurt I had stashed in my backpack just in case E was ready to end her hunger strike.  Right there in the bank she sucked that thing down without taking a breath!  We were so relieved that she ate again.  The drinking isn't going well and now she's refusing the watermelon, too, but maybe that will get better tomorrow.

We played a little this afternoon with stickers and thought things were looking up, but tonight went downhill and we nixed dinner again.  It's funny that our entire time here we haven't sat down and had one meal.  We all just individually sneak a bite here and there when we are not in the middle of a meltdown.

Tonight was a pretty fun bath and then she makes us put on about 15 coats of baby lotion.  After that was pretty rough.  Now princess is standing in her crib, staring out the window.  We wonder what is going through her head, as her thoughts are clearly a million miles away.  As much as I love Nanning and feel comfortable here, I will be very happy to leave, hoping that it will turn the page for the 3 of us.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has sent supportive messages our way.  This trip is hard and scary and so very lonely sometimes, and hearing from everyone means the world to us.  Knowing that you are pulling for us gives us strength.  Wish us luck tomorrow for our flight to Guangzhou!


Anonymous said...

Tracy, This rough time too shall pass, believe me!

Please stick with it and have patience, it will be well worth it in the end! In a year or two Emma will not remember much, and she will view you as her real parents. She will become "your" daughter soon, be assured.

And, don't worry about the eating--no healthy child ever voluntarily starved herself to death, LOL.

Little Emma is going through a rougher time than you, she does not quite understand what is happening to her and why her mama has disappeared so suddenly. I follow a lot of the China adoption blogs, and I do feel for those brave little souls who are being thrust into the arms of strangers. Fast forward a few months, and you see happy children with bright eyes in their new homes! Just wait and see, it will happen to you too!

Emma is so darn cute, even if she looks a bit sad at times.

All the best wishes to you and your new daughter!

Amy said...

My name is Amy and we adopted a 4 yr old in 2010. It was basically H*** for the 3 weeks we had to be there. You are NOT alone! It is a very hard trip. It is OK to cry-I sure did- and it is so hard to watch them grieve, knowing they don't know how very much you love them. You will get thru it and she will get thru it. Heck we are doing it again (leave the 26th actually) so you know it can't be that bad:) Prayers for you all. The best thing is she KNOWS love and will love you all as well. MUCH better than NEVER knowing love!!!! We will keep praying.

Anonymous said...

Hi T! I am so excited for you and P (Sue has been keeping me posted and she sent along the link to your blog). E is simply gorgeous! I am so in awe of you guys and all that you are going through. You guys are amazing and E is so lucky to have you! Love to all!


Pattie and Joe said...

Tiny steps for a tiny girl. Happily maybe she is staring out of the window for the view - she probably was never that high or saw so many lights. Safe travels - we love you all!

Amanda said...

Hi Tracy,
Sending hugs. It WILL get better. I remember the sadness in Ava's province. By the time we went to GZ the breakdowns and mourning stopped and she was ready to move on. I hope the same happens to baby E.
You are going to LOVE GZ. Enjoy it! And go get some sit down dinner girl! ;-)

Anonymous said...

The HeartWare team is following your wonderful story! Our thoughts are with you guys and E as you transform from two to three! We have cried a few tears with you..ok us girls have! Love, love, love and patience. Hope to see E in our office in a few weeks - when she is ready! We cannot imagine how tough it is for her and how hard it is for you to see her so sad. Hopefully a change of scenery will help all. --Holly and the HeartWare Family

Michele said...

Week two is a breaking point for many, but the road and winding. We just returned on New Year's Eve and I feel like we have a different child then even a week ago. It will get better. Hang in there. You are almost to the halfway point and then you will be home. So much easier in the comforts of your own home!!

Elizabeth B. said...

Found your blog as I read many blogs about adoption from China. We are researching adoption and wondering if this may be a way to grow our family. In several other blogs, I have read about children who refused to eat for some time. I believe the blog, Growing Our Nest, shares similar struggles. It may be comforting to read some past entries to know how others handled these difficult times. I will keep you in my prayers. She is a beautiful child even in the most difficult moments. Blessings to your family of 3!
Elizabeth B.

Anonymous said...

Hi Tracey & Patrick!

I was behind reading your blogs as my kids are keeping me so busy and tired! (and they are 13 & 10!!! ) I just read the ones since the day you finally met E...Oh my, she is just the cutest little cupcake!!! You made me cry!!! I feel so bad for her but so good that she will have such loving and caring parents, and I feel for you guys because I know how much hurt you feel for her and at the same time hurt because you want so badly for her to want and need you and know that you are her mommy and daddy! I know it will get better and soon enough you will have that loving family bond that no one can touch!!! You make an very beautiful family! I admire your strength and perseverance and wish you so much love and joy (and patience!!!) and all that is good! Kaylyn cannot wait to meet her new cousin, she brings E's photo's everywhere to show off her new cousin! She brought them to show and tell at school and E was such a hit!!! God Bless your family and we can't wait to see you, Patrick & Emmie!!!! Safe flight home! (and good luck on the plane!!)

Denise (Pesaturo) : )

Pattievand Joe said...

T&P&E -reading these blogs tonight, I have never seen such love and support from people, some of whom don't even know you. We all know the love inside you, but these people can feel it in their bones just by reading your blogs. Your world is going to be alright with such love pouring into it. It makes me smile with such encouraging words from those who have lived it. Cannot wait for you to all to make that turn. Love you, Pattie & Joe

Lillie Family said...

I have to believe things will get better for all of us. I know E's age is a hard one but you guys are so strong, you can get through it!!

We are so super excited to see you again in GZ. We need a new page too. My DH almost killed me today - this is a lot of stress for all of us!!

PS - we have the same stroller as you guys from Walmart. happy dino!!

The Jiu Jiu said...

Whoops, just left a message on your previous entry by mistake...! Just keep up with the loving and all three of you will get through the rough times together.

Not sure it'll help, but I remember that one of the girls in our small travel group just would. not. eat. -- and then one day at lunch someone tried feeding her some noodles with chopsticks (instead of fork or spoon or bottle) and she just about inhaled an entire plateful... maybe it's not the mood or the food but the utensils...?

Whatever the case may be, there are a lot of folks Stateside who are pulling for you (and your blogging has given you a lot of friends you've never met) so keep that in mind to help give you a little extra "umph" when your own strength is waning. Hang in there, it WILL get better...!!

Anonymous said...

You kids are paving your way to heaven. Remember nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. Even though this is truly the best time in E's life, she does not know that. It is truly the worst thing that has ever happened to her. But every single moment of every single day she has you both... she has you wrapping her in hugs... drying her tears... making her smile... sleeping in the warmth of her new mommy and daddy... and an endless supply of love keeping her safe. What little girl could ever ask for more. In time, you will be the wonderful mom and dad she knows and she will realize no one will ever be able to take her away from you. Keep her smiling and smile through your tears. She will love you.

Angie said...

Sending you big hugs and thoughts! I hope things are getting a little better and that you had a safe trip to Guangzhou! Even when she's upset, little E is just so adorable!

Anonymous said...

Hope E has settled in nicely?!

Anonymous said...

We have two daughters from GuangXi so your blog was extra special to us. Every child copes differently, there is no "normal" way. The hardest part is the first few weeks, after that, things do get easier, albeit, for some it is quicker than others. Our first daughter was adopted in Sep 2004 at 20 months, our second in Feb 2011 at 16 months. Both settled in differently. It is when we look back at the first photos that we see how sad they were in the first few weeks but as time has progressed, they have turned into very happy girls - and they haven't looked back. We wish you all the best and know that things will continue to get better for you all.