Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Ugh...Stuck

Tonight I went over to the Executive Lounge and made myself a very special Chinese drink.  It's called RUM.  Only because they had no vodka.  Oy, things are tough here.

To be fair, things were going fairly well, or at least fairly well in the realm of trying to care for and bond with an extremely traumatized child.  The good news is that R has lots of happy moments, smiling, playing, being friendly with us.  She accepts affection from both of us sometimes, and has even returned the occasional kiss.  Last night, she literally covered E with kisses.  Her belly, her legs, her face, her arms.  At other times, she is very, very, very, very, very, sad/mad/scared.  She puts her pointer finger of her left hand in her mouth and will scream for hours.  She won't accept being held or bribed with candy or even looked at during these moments.  She just gives us the "Rosie Headshake."  It's hard.

But the headline right now is that we are stuck.  Literally STUCK.  For anyone who hasn't heard yet, the US Embassy is closed due to an "incident."  By now, it's hitting the news, so you can read about it rather than hear it from me, as I was told by our agency director not to repeat anything I heard.

So, the truth is, we're stuck in China and want to come home.  E is throwing up her brains from God know's what.  R is throwing herself on the floor, screaming, sad and grieving.  We're running out of new toys to introduce, stickers, snacks, and clothes.  My Lord, it's 150% humidity here and I really don't want to recycle any more clothes.  (yes, practical people, I know we can do laundry.)  We want to get home, get into our "normal" life and routines.  I actually want to COOK AND CLEAN.  YES, I WANT TO CLEAN MY OWN TOILET.  I don't want the gorgeous breakfast buffet anymore.  I don't want amazing dim sum.  I don't want to ride an elevator to go to my bed.  I don't want to see the beautiful Shamian Island, that I love so much.  I want to go home.  See my family.  See my MOTHER who I missed so terribly on Mother's Day.  The first EVER ever didn't see her.  I want to see my dad and my sister.  I want E to dry heave in her own toilet.  I want R to grieve and cry herself to sleep in her own bed.  I want to fall asleep in MY own bed.

China isn't a vacation.  I've said it a million times.  But, you set yourself up for a certain number of days of this non-vacation.  Then, you take a horrible plane ride and are greeted by the faces whom you love the most.  The people you miss so badly and lift you up during this crazy time.  The hard times end, and yet they begin.  But not now.  Not tomorrow.  Who knows when.  Stuck.  Stuck.  Stuck....

I want to send my HEARTFELT thanks to everyone who has prayed for us, thought about us, pulled for us. To my family, who stopped their lives when they heard the news about the consulate just to sit by their Skype--CONSTANTLY.  To the people I have NEVER met in the adoption community and thalassemia community who have tagged me 500 times on Facebook just to say they are thinking about us.  To Expedia, for cancelling an un-cancellable  reservation because of the situation. To the Shifu for being so amazingly accommodating and extending our stay--when I'm SURE they wanted us gone.  To our agency's in-China staff for standing by us during this time.  To my girls.  For just BEING-sad, happy, puking, crying, whatever.  To P, for being amazing even though he's sick with R's cold.

We're stuck, yes.  Tired, sick, sweaty, sad, homesick.  Scared that E is due for a transfusion NEXT WEDNESDAY.  Scared that R is due for a transfusion...well, who knows when.  But, we're still happy.  Happy to be a family.  Growing, struggling, experiencing life in whatever way that it's thrown at us.  Thank you for holding us up, all of you.

Here's what you want...


Hung over from jumping on the bed until after midnight.

E and Mama. 

Happy!



E is airborne here!

Love!

More pics to follow from our Consulate day, but my internet is running VEEEEEEEEEEEEEERY slowly now...

12 comments:

Fannie said...

I heard about it earlier today!!! I am soooo sorry!! Can't imagine how stressed you guys must be!! So I am praying for you guys for your sick and scared babies and for the consulate to reopen...

I know that God will give you all the strength to get through this.

Praying in NYC!

The Mac Fam said...

I am sooooooo sorry you are dealing with all of this. Just this morning on my run I was praying for all the families involved in this crisis. I will continue to pray.
On the flip side, your family is beautiful. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and honest account of all you are thinking and feeling through this time.
Much love, Rachel

Kelly said...

So NOT a vacation!!! UGH!!!! Praying you are home very soon!!!

I never tire of seeing pictures of your cuties together!!!

Anne Trent said...

I'm soooo sorry to hear this news.
It plain SUCKS!
Hopefully the incident will get resolved soon & you can get back to your new normal.
Love the photos of your girls!

Pattie and Joe said...

Oh,T,P,E,&R - what a horrible situation. Like everyone else, we will be praying for you all and we want you home as much as you do! With all these hearts and souls pulling for you, hopefully the good energy will help you through.
Love You ALL

Alan said...

Very sorry to hear it! Wishing you the best for departure safely and soon.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, sorry to hear of this. You don't know me, I got your blog link from your post about HK on RQ. I have been loving reading your adventures and reliving our trip. We traveled last May to adopt our son, and we also brought along our daughter (we had Helen as our guide too!)

I know how you feel, I remember vividly how badly we wanted to come home. I remember being sick of the hotel, the food, the pool, the breakfast buffet, everything. We wanted so badly to come home, our son was having a difficult transition, as was our daughter. I was so homesick! Our dd got sick as well during the trip and we felt so helpless. Hang in there, you are not alone. Hopefully things will get back on track and you will be flying home. I know we all felt so much better once we were home and in our own environment. Now we can't wait to return to China as tourists so we can enjoy the trip!

groovy mama said...

Hoping things turn around & time passes quicker:)
Hugs, lv the pics of girls, so sweet!
Donna

Almond Tea said...

"China is not a vacation" +1

I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to want to get out of there SO BADLY.

Please let us know how it goes and I hope you get out soon!

Kelleyn Rothaermel said...

Praying you get home soon.

AnnaJ said...

Thinking of you and praying for a speedy resolution to the problems. You WILL be home soon, although it doesn't feel like it. Hopefully before medical care and intervention are needed.

David,Lois,Austin, Darrell & Leila said...

I don't know you. I've been following your blog because our daughter is also from Foshan. I'm sorry your stuck and have been praying for you. On the plus side, both girls are beautiful and eventually this will be just one more memory on this amazing journey.