Sometime in January I decided I had to come up with something crafty I could do. I decided I'd try making E a hairbow. Four hours, a pound of hot glue, 3 burns, and some tears later and I came up with this:
Lopsided, not particularly pretty, and definitely not worth the effort. But, E loved it. I felt terrible, making one for E, and not one for R. She was so far away, both in distance and in time, but it felt sad not making one for her, so I did, and decided whenever I made E a bow, I'd make one for R.
February came, and it was time to come up with something for Valentine's Day. People were talking about expediting thalassemia adoptions and getting them done in 4 months, start to finish. Would R be here to share some sweet treats and be our Valentine along with E? No, but I made her a bow, anyways, knowing next year would be the sweetest ever with both of our daughters.
In March, we were getting frustrated with all of the delays we seemed to be having. We finally received our LOA after 75 long days. St. Patrick's Day was coming up, and I knew R wouldn't be here to bring her Baba his annual Guinness to celebrate the day. But, next year she would be, and since Baba would have two little princesses bringing him his treat, she'd need a bow, too.
As the month came to an end, our frustration hit an all-time high as some paperwork hit a bunch of unnecessary snags. I wanted R here to get her basket from the Easter Bunny so badly, instead of watching it sit there untouched. But I made her a bow anyways, and we celebrated a beautiful day with E, and smiled through our frustration.
April was off to a rocky start with more paperwork delays. There were a couple of days I took calls from the agency in the car and had to pull to the side of the road to cry. But Spring was springing, and E was having fun outside playing and catching ladybugs. On April 18, we finally got our TA and I actually started to believe that the delays were behind us, and we'd have our sweet R in our arms soon. Would she love ladybugs like her jie jie? I wouldn't know for awhile yet, but it was getting closer...
Over time, the bows got easier to make. And, more fun to make. Not because I was getting better at it, but because I knew both of my daughters would be wearing them soon. It also became very cathartic for me. Rather than spending sleepless nights hitting "refresh" on my email or furiously tracking a package, I was doing something with my own hands, from my own heart for my girls. There were a lot of sleepless nights, and I ended up with a lot of bows. Maybe I'm crafty after all!