On one of our hundred trips to Babies R Us to test drive the SWEET Mercedes-style stroller we picked out, we pulled into the closest spot: "Parking for Expectant Mothers." Hm...am I, or aren't I an expectant mother? Now, I know why those spots are there, and we backed out leaving the spot open for mothers with bellies bigger than mine. But it got me to thinking.
When people say that someone is "expecting", it conjures up much more than just the physical aspects of having a baby. New happy family, giggly baby, no sleep, lots of "Kodak moments." Isn't that us? Besides the obvious physical differences, I think I am very much like an "expectant mother."
I have been in love with E since the first moment she was a glimmer in my eye. I'll always remember the feeling I had when I told P about her. I don't feel her inside of my belly, but I feel her inside of my heart. I think about her constantly, talk about her, and dream about her. I wonder how she'll feel, smell, sound, and look. I have dreams for her. I want her to have the best life possible. I want to give everything I can to her. I want to give her our love, and I want her to love us back. I want to build lots and lots of memories together as a family. I worry about her, and I want her to be healthy and happy. I'm extremely protective of her, and won't tolerate anyone who would dare to hurt her.
On a more physical note, the closer it gets to her arrival, the harder it is for me to sleep. I crave Chinese food more than I ever have! I am overly emotional about everything--I cried watching Frosty the Snowman melt on TV. I'm nervous and worry I won't know what to do with this new little person. We are definitely nesting...buying a house, preparing a nice place for her, cleaning, organizing packing lists, reading books, trying to buy things for the best we can with minimal information about her size, tying up things at work and home, and so on.
So, while I don't need that first-row parking spot so I can have an easy walk into the store, I am very much "expecting."