Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Days 2 and 3

I can happily announce that things are going pretty much as expected.  Not great, not bad, just somewhere in between.  A little person just had her world thrown into a tizzy, and she's sad and confused.  Just like I'd be sad and confused if someone switched my husband, swapped my parents, or traded my house.  And while we go into adoption knowing this will happen, it's still hard.  Hard to watch your daughter suffer when you love her so much it hurts.  And hard to keep yourself together when you are tired, displaced, sick, and stressed.

On Tuesday, Francesca woke up a little confused but cheered up and ate a good breakfast.  We went back to the Guangxi Civil Affairs Office to make the adoption official after the "harmonious period" during which we basically test-drive our new daughter.  The officials asked us if she did well overnight, if she was what we expected her to be, and if we wanted to keep her and why.  After the awkward question and answer session, the CWI caretakers presented us with a few small gifts for Francesca, as well as an absolutely beautiful handmade photo album of her.  When we were done at the office, we said our final goodbye to the caretakers, and thanked them profusely for taking care of our daughter before we could.  I always find it absolutely impossible to convey enough appreciation at this moment.

Goofing around at breakfast.

So pretty.

Rosie planting one on her little sister.

After doing her footprint.  She did not like it at all.

After all of our appointments, we had a little playtime in the room and then we headed to the fancy new mall nearby.  Francesca was OK with riding in the Ergo, which surprised me.  We got her a cute new pair of squeaky shoes to replace the crazy red patent leather boots that were two sizes too big.

The requisite van photo.  There are getting to be so many of us
that we can hardly fit in!

At the mall getting some new shoes.

On Wednesday, Glenn took us to Qing Xiu Shan park.  It is an absolutely beautiful park, nothing like anything I have ever been to in the US.  The weather has been quite nice here, and the air feels dry less smoggy than it has on our previous trips.  I don't remember ever seeing a blue sky in China before.

In the afternoon we rested.  Everyone is sick now, all with something different.  Stomach problems, cough, fevers.  I seem to have the exact same illness as I had on Rosie's adoption trip, complete with the China-special oozing eyes.

Francesca is turning out to be a little like Rosie when we first met her.  She prefers Baba, but not in the extreme way that Rosie did.  She will let me hold her and care for her and play with her.  But sometimes, she won't even let me look at her, and even takes a swipe at me.  She gets very, very angry when Emmie or Rosie try to come near me, even if she doesn't want to be near me herself. She's still pretty hot and cold with her sisters.

She's also turning out to be a little like Emmie when we met her.  She wants to be out of the room constantly, a la Nanning 2012. While she's not exactly hanging on the doorknob trying to escape like Emmie did, whenever we are in the room, she raises her arms to be picked up and cries, pointing to the door.  She wants to be walked in circles around the 20th floor endlessly, which, as we learned on Emmie's adoption trip, is slimming but not sustainable.  She has cried so much that her sweet little cheeks are nearly bleeding.  Night time is hard, but at least she eventually wears herself out.

So, we are having some good moments, but overall things are not easy right now.  And trying to deal with hours and hours of heartbreaking screaming tests your limits when you are tired and sick and feeling like the walls of your tiny hotel room are closing around you.  But we didn't expect that it would be easy.  Luckily, we have experience on our side--we can just look at Emmie and Rosie and know that it does get better.  And not just better...but wonderful.


Joe and Pattie said...

In her happy moments, she has a smile that could bring sunshine at night! At lease if it is anything like Emmie and Rosie, she will never remember the tears!

likeschocolate said...

Praying the next couple of days get even better. She is adorable!

Anonymous said...

She is beautiful, God Bless your family and pray he makes her transition go smoothly. I have read that the first three days are hardest. The pictures make her look so happy. Maybe that is a good sign:-)

Kelly said...

It is always so heartbreaking. Adoption, though beautiful and amazing, is born from brokeness. I am praying for your family and especially for Francesca's precious heart. I pray she feels more secure every day. Your story is bringing back a flood of memories of how especially difficult those first few weeks are! Hang in there sweet friend!

Renate Jackson said...

Hope everyone is feeling better.