Emmie Day

I've started this post 3 or 4 times now, not knowing what to say, not able to see the screen through my tears.   Tears of joy that I have been so blessed to live my dream, to hold my sweet daughter in my arms and hear "Wo Ai Ni".  Tears of sadness when I think of how badly our terrified daughter was suffering last year at this time, and that someone had to say goodbye to her for us to welcome her into our lives.

We remember the moment as if it was yesterday...the dinging of the elevator in the Nanning Marriott, the heat in the room that we couldn't control, our guide taking the camera, the balloons lolling about on the green carpet, everything seeming to move so slowly but then it was all going so fast and we heard the faintest cry from the hallway and we knew it was happening...

And there she was.  Beautiful, scared, profoundly sad, wanting candy and to pick up everything she could in her tiny hands and get out of that hotel room.  And we realized that the journey we thought we had been on since May 29, 2011 was really just a lot of paperwork.  The real journey was just beginning.

January 9, 2012

E packed her bags to leave more than once on the day we met her and the days that would follow. She stood near the door and hung on to the doorknob crying an awful cry.  I cried that same awful cry on the floor of the hotel bathroom days later, and it was then that I knew E was even more special than I dreamed was possible.  She caught me in that moment, and through her own pain comforted me, wiping my tears away.  We were going to be OK.

It's hard to believe today that during our time in China, we barely saw a smile, heard a peep, or did anything besides try to calm and comfort our deeply distraught daughter.  Today, Emmilene lights up every place she walks into, warms the heart of every soul she touches, elicits laughter from every stranger, and gives love right back to those who love her.  She is courageous, compassionate, silly, bright, chatty, and affectionate.  All of this was wrapped up inside of her in China as she held on so tightly while her world was spinning out of her control.

In those first days, you wonder if your new child will ever come to accept you and your love.  Now E comes to us to kiss her boo-boos, to hold on to her tightly at her transfusions, to read her stories, to play, and to sing songs over and over.  She loves bath time with Baba and cuddle time with Mama each night.  She offers kisses and hugs and smiles at bright as the sun.

So today is a remembrance of the day we became a family.  We were going to call it "Family Day," but with little Rosalie on the way we decided to call it "Emmie Day."  It's a day to thank the people who took care of her while we waited, and to look back at just how far this amazing little child has come.  We'll think about all of the incredible memories we already have together as a family, and about all the wonderful things that lie ahead.  And Patrick and I will take a moment to quietly stop and think about just how lucky we truly are.

What a year it's been, and it's all thanks to you, our beautiful first daughter.  You have brought more joy, fun, happiness, and love to our lives than we have ever known.  We love you more and more with each passing day, minute, and second.  Happy Emmie Day!

January 9, 2013